At the beginning of the year I made a few intentions and resolutions like I always do. This year I came up with a new one though, stay off dating apps for a whole year. It was something I thought of on a whim, but decided to go for it and so I gave up dating apps.
I’m happy to say that I deleted my dating apps on December 31st and I haven’t downloaded any since then. Today I’m sharing the reasons why I decided to keep the dating apps off my phone this year.
My History With Dating Apps
I was originally the person that said they would never download a dating app, then curiosity got to me. After meticulously researching what would be the best free dating app for people who are serious about dating, I found an app to download.
A few months later I downloaded two more. Throughout the years I stuck with Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, and Hinge for the most part. Although I did try different apps here and there no other ones stuck out to me like those three.
While I’ve had a few connections over the years, nothing has really led anywhere. This is why I feel like it’s been fairly easy for me to give up dating apps.
Why I Gave Up Dating Apps For A Year
There are four main reasons why I deleted all my dating apps at the beginning of the year. Maybe you will relate to some of these and might consider choosing to give up dating apps too.
Take More Opportunities To Get Out Of My Comfort Zone
I realized at some point I got wrapped up in swiping culture. The dating apps became something else I went to when I wanted to disassociate and I would just mindlessly swipe. That’s obviously not what the apps are supposed to be for. That is one of the reasons I’d decided to take a break from online dating and gave up dating apps.
Deleting the apps has given me the opportunity to step away from the mindless scrolling and get out of my comfort zone. I started by going speed dating in February, something I have never done.
While it didn’t turn into anything, I’m proud of myself for attempting something like that. My plan for now is to try and get out into the community more.
I’m doing this by finding a church to be a part of so that I can meet new people (that’s not the main reason I’m going to church, I just know that church is a great place to find community), going to events alone if needed, and more.
Ideally I’d Like To Meet Someone In Person Anyway
If it were up to me, my meet cute would be based off of someone I meet in person for the first time. Call it the hopeless romantic in me, but there is something special about knowing that you can meet the love of your life at any time in a random circumstance.
While I’m not opposed to finding someone from a dating app, I’d rather it be in person. Whether it happens randomly or is set-up, that is my dream.
I Wasn’t Having Any Success With The Apps
Another reason I gave up dating apps was because I just wasn’t having success with them. I’d rarely get any matches, and when I did I would either get ghosted right off the bat or after a week or two of talking it was clear there was nothing there to explore.
Whether we had different values or it just felt more like friend vibes, something always came up on those rare times I matched with someone. Maybe next year I’ll have more luck after some time away from the apps?
More Time To Focus On Loving Myself
The last reason, and most important one, for giving up the dating apps is that I wanted more time to focus on loving myself. I’ve come a long way in the few years since I discovered what self-love means, but I still have work to do. When I finally get into a relationship with someone else, I want to know without a doubt that I have a healthy relationship with myself first.
Loving myself involves further developing a growth mindset, romanticizing my life, gaining confidence, and accepting myself as I am. The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll have. That means it’s worth spending time on.
What You Can Take Away From My Journey
Whether or not you plan to make as drastic a change, like deleting dating apps for a whole year, doesn’t matter. I do think it is healthy to step back from the apps for at least a short amount of time. The time away can help you re-evaluate what you are looking for in a partner, why you are looking for a relationship, and more.
I’ve also heard that sometimes you have better luck with matches after taking a break for a while. This is because the app wants to keep you around longer this time so they switch things up. So that is something to keep in mind if you aren’t having any luck in the online dating world.
Think You Are Ready To Give Up The Apps For A Year?
If you want to follow my lead, first I’m excited for this decision you’ve made, but you may want to reflect a little before you fully commit. I did this backwards, but if I gave up dating apps in this way I think it would have meant more in the beginning. Here are the questions:
- Why do I want to get off the dating apps?
- Am I ready to commit to a whole year, or should this be a short-term thing?
- How will I find ways to date without the apps?
- Do I even want to date right now?
- What am I hoping to learn from this experience?
Final Thoughts On Why I Gave Up Dating Apps
Overall I’m proud of myself for sticking to not having dating apps on my phone. I’m hoping that I can continue to take steps to get out of my comfort zone as well. Have you ever gone a significant amount of time off of dating apps? What did you learn/gain from the experience? Let me know in the comments.
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