In my 20s, it felt like I was living in the movie “27 Dresses.” I might have longed for my future marriage, but I’m glad I didn’t get married until my 30s.
During my 20s, I thought I was living the movie “27 Dresses.” There was even one year I was a bridesmaid in two weddings, one in May and one in June, where both dresses were navy blue but of course I couldn’t wear the same dress to both!
Basically, I never thought my time would come. Going single to all these weddings, especially the ones that I was in, was just another reminder of how everyone was moving on with their lives and I wasn’t.
I’ll be honest – I didn’t really want to get married in my 20s. I wanted them for me. Getting married in my 30s was perfect for me, for a few reasons. I already shared with you how getting married in your thirties is different than your twenties. Now, here’s some reasons why I’m personally glad I didn’t get married until my thirties.
7 Reasons I’m Glad I Didn’t Get Married Until My 30s
My 20s Were For Me
Your 20s are a time for learning and growing. I’ll admit it – I was selfish – I wanted that time for me. I didn’t want to have to worry about anyone else. I wanted to focus on my self-growth, and honestly, have fun too. That’s how you learn and grow, right?
By making mistakes, and it’s better when those mistakes don’t impact anyone else. Now that I’m in my 30s I can see how I grew from my early twenties to my late twenties.
The person I was entering my 30s isn’t the same person I was entering my 20s. I am proud of the person I became, and it’s that person that makes a good partner – not the person I was before.
I’ve “Been There, Done That”
I traveled in my 20s. I experienced new places. I saw new things. I met new people. I’ve been on the apps. I’ve been on blind dates.
I’ve stayed up until 6 AM dancing the night away both in a club and by the beach. I can honestly say I’ve “been there, done that.” Sure, I didn’t do everything but I got to experience a ton. I haven’t had that “I wish I did that when I had the chance” thought.
Like I said above, my 20s were for me, and I’m happy with everything I was able to do before settling down. Not that life stops when you find your partner – I’m having a blast with him, don’t get me wrong. I love it! It’s just very different from my 20s, and something I’m not sure I would’ve had the same appreciation for ten years ago.
My Budget Was Different
Yes, a budget was still in place, but there was a lot more wiggle room than there would have been if I were in my 20s.
I had more savings, which of course helped out drastically – have you seen the price of weddings nowadays?! Not only that, but I also have a better understanding of budgeting and of quality in my 30s than I did in my 20s. I knew what things I should be spending more on and what things I could spend less on.
I Knew What I Wanted
This applies both for what I wanted in a wedding and what I wanted in a partner! By not rushing into anything, I know I didn’t settle. I found the perfect partner for me and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
I’ve never second guessed myself or wondered if I settled – I know I didn’t. The same for the wedding – I had been to enough weddings to see what I liked and what I didn’t like. I knew what I wanted – and who I wanted – as part of my day, and what and who I didn’t.
You learn from your own experiences, but also from the experiences of others. By going to a ton of weddings in my 20s, I can tell you I learned a lot and implemented those learnings into my own wedding.
I Didn’t Stress The Small Stuff (Much)
At least for me, when I was in my 20s, if something small didn’t go as I wanted it, it felt like the end of the world. When you’re planning a wedding, lots of small (and sometimes big) things will go wrong.
Instead of stressing about things, especially those outside of my control, I was able to roll with the punches better now that I’m older.
Your perspective just changes as you enter your 30s, and I’m grateful I had that perspective while wedding planning. Don’t get me wrong, there were still a couple of freak-outs (as happens!) but not nearly as many as there would’ve been if I were young.
I Saw People’s True Colors
You may be able to see this in your 20s, too, but by the time you’re 30, you’ve definitely seen it. Your relationships change, both with friends and family.
Friendships change in your 20s. Losing friends in your 20s is normal. It happens! It happened to me. And whereas I once may have felt obligated to invite those people to my wedding, I didn’t this time.
They also say that weddings bring out people’s true colors, and this is the biggest piece of advice I think I’d give to the newly engaged. It really does. You can tell who’s really happy for you and who’s not. You also see who’s so excited for you and can’t wait to celebrate with you… and who doesn’t. It’s truly eye-opening, and I’m not sure I would’ve been as perceptive to it in my 20s.
I Learned How To Say No
Respectfully, of course, but learning how to say no is so important, and something you learn better with age. Setting boundaries isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to planning a wedding. But it’s something you have to do, in a polite and tactful way.
It’s you and your partner’s day, no one else’s. Being older allowed us to navigate this better. We definitely never felt like children being told what needed to be done – we were consciously making all the decisions ourselves and including people as needed. If a suggestion was brought up that we didn’t like, it was much easier for us to say no.
My Final Thoughts on Getting Married In My 30s
While getting married one day was on my mind, getting married in my 20s wasn’t the path for me. I’m extremely happy with how my story came together and with waiting to get married in my 30s.
If you are in your season of waiting, remember everything happens on our own unique timeline. There’s nothing else we need to keep up with.