In order to live your best life in your thirties, there are some aspects of your current life that you may need to understand are things to let go of. So, if you are feeling unsettled, stuck, or unfulfilled right now it’s time to take stock of your life.
Today I’m sharing about 30+ things that we need to let go of in order to live our best lives while we are in this decade. Take a look at the list and see if making any of these changes could make your life better.
32 Things To Let Go Of In Your 30s
As you go through this list remember that not all will apply to you or might be things to let go of that you have already done. Don’t be hard on yourself and use this as a reflection on what things you could let go of that might be holding you back.
1. The Need To Please Others
People pleasing may seem like a good trait to have at first. However, when it comes at the cost of sacrificing your own happiness, it’s time to look at it in a different way.
The need to please others can actually get in the way of your own growth, and that is not okay. It’s time to let that thing go.
2. Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another one of those traits that are disguised as something that is good for you. It’s not bad if you are excelling at your work, right? It just means your ambitious surely?
Perfectionism gets dangerous when you start feeding into negative self-talk because you feel like you didn’t do enough to get that promotion. Or what about spending your nights and weekends doing extra work so that you can perfect your projects? This behavior is why we need to make perfectionism a thing to let go of in our thirties.
3. The Need To Be Right
The need to always be right can make you distance yourself from others, and even ruin relationships. As hard as it is to create new relationships as adults, we need to hold on to all the good ones that we have.
Being in your thirties means that we are going to acknowledge when we got it wrong. It will help you grow as a person, and help your relationships grow as well.
4. What Could Have Been
I have such a hard time staying stuck in the past. Wondering what my life would look like now if I had taken a different job, took a chance on a new friendship, or even had a different college journey.
The would/ve, could’ve, should’ves of life will keep us paralyzed in the past, and not focused on our future. As much as I wish my twenties turned out different, I’m in my thirties now. It’s time to focus on that. Will you join me?
5. Fear Of Being Alone Is a Thing To Let Go Of
I don’t know about you, but the fear of being alone has held me back from too many great things in life. Well I say no more to that. In our thirties we are going to go do the things (even if we have to do them alone), we are going to be okay with being single, and we are going to thrive in our alone time.
6. Strained Friendships
You know those friendships that you have that feel like they are just there? Like if you didn’t put any effort in the relationship would most likely dissolve.
When a relationship is so strained that it feels one-sided, it’s time to recognize it as a thing to let go of. By doing this you’ll be able to give more energy to the friendships that are more equal.
7. Fear Of Missing Out
The fear of missing out has had a hold on us for too long. In our thirties we are letting that go. Who cares what others are doing? It’s time we focus on what we are doing. You’ll feel so much better by just focusing on yourself.
8. Society’s Expectations
When we focus too much on society’s expectations we can start to feel like we don’t measure up, no matter how well our life is going. There is always some benchmark that they say you’re not meeting or life events you should have had by now.
The truth is, everyone’s life is different. That is something to celebrate, not scrutinize people over. Choose society’s expectations as one of the things to get rid of, it’s not worth your time or energy.
9. Old Grudges
Like I said before, let’s leave the past in the past. If you’ve brought any old grudges into your thirties – get rid of them. You don’t have to forget whatever or whoever wronged you, but you can forgive and choose not to give it energy anymore. You’ll feel so much lighter when your life is free from old grudges.
10. The Need To Run From Uncomfortable Emotions
I’m calling myself out here, and anyone else that struggles with this. If the movie Inside Out (one and two) and therapy has taught me anything, it’s that all emotions deserve space to feel.
Even the uncomfortable ones that you’d rather not give energy to, need to be felt and expressed. In our thirties we are going to do the work and not run from those uncomfortable emotions. Make sure the need to run from these becomes one of your things to let go of.
11. Negative Self Talk
Negative self talk has no place in your life in your thirties. It does too much harm to let it stick around. I know this is easier said than done, but awareness of your negative thought patterns is the first step. Check out this article for more tips.
12. Bad Habits
If I’ve learned anything about aging it’s that it’s harder to give up bad habits the older you get and the longer you’ve embraced the habit. I want you to take stock of all the habits that you frequent and determine which of those are considered bad.
Let’s make a commitment to make those bad habits as things to let go of. You might feel like you have so many bad habits but of course the best way to do this is to start with one habit at a time.
13. Attachment To Your Phone
If you have an unhealthy relationship with your phone, this is something I want you to let go of in your thirties. It is okay to take breaks away from your phone. Your email, social media, and games will all be there when you get back to it again.
A great way to combat the attachment you have to your phone is to try an unplugging challenge. See if you can stay away from your phone for an extended amount of time and notice how much better you feel after.
14. Comparison As A Thing To Let Go Of
The comparison trap gets us all from time to time. Now that we are in our thirties we should be able to recognize our triggers to prevent the comparison from happening. If you struggle with comparison, figure out where it’s stemming from and let it go.
15. That Soul-Sucking Job
The notion that we have to stay stuck in the same job/career is a tired message. The truth is, if what you are doing is not bringing you joy and a sense of purpose it’s time to change paths. Your thirties is the perfect time to do just that if you are currently in a soul-sucking job.
16. Irresponsibly Spending Money
Now that you are in your thirties, if you haven’t gotten a good relationship with money it’s time to start. Make that budget, create a savings account, and start investing, most of all let go of the pull to spend your money irresponsibly. It’s going to hurt you in the long run if you don’t.
17. Trying To Stay Trendy
Spending your time and money to try and stay on top of all the trends is exhausting, and a waste honestly. Trends come and go so often so it’s useless to try to keep up.
Instead, spend your thirties being authentically you. Find the classic you look at vibe that remains true to yourself no matter the timeline. You’ll live a more fulfilling life that way.
18. Your Comfort Zone
If you are searching for growth it’s not going to come from your comfort zone. The sooner you step out of your comfort zone, the better your life will be.
I’m not saying you have to take a big leap, even just a small step will get you going in the right direction. Then take the next step, and keep going until your comfort zone is a thing of the past.
19. Going Along With What Your Parents Want
I’m sure you love your parents, and they love you, but sometimes that love can be topped with expectations and life plans. If you feel backed into a corner with going into something that your parents want you to do, it’s time to stand your ground.
It’s going to be hard, and the relationship may be strained for a little while. If your parents truly want to see you thriving and happy they will accept your decision. Let your parent’s standards and wants be one of your things to let go of.
20. Ignoring Your Mental Health
It’s time to let go of ignoring the signs that you need help with your mental health. I know you want to be strong and have your life together, but sometimes we need help to get us there.
When you ignore the signs that your mental health isn’t doing well, you are prolonging the bad feelings. By getting help you can learn tips and tools to help you shift your mood and get into a better mental state.
21. Living For The Weekend
There are 104 weekend days out of the 365 days in a year. Why are we wasting the other 261 days on the calendar? In our thirties let’s stop living for the weekend, and start enjoying our weekdays too.
Go on a date night on a random Wednesday, spend time doing a puzzle after work on a Monday evening, invite a friend over for dinner on Thursdays. Don’t let the calendar dictate your free time.
22. Guilt Over Choosing You
You should never feel guilty for doing something that you truly think is the best for you. We are leaving that guilt in our twenties, okay? Choosing yourself might be hard to do at first when you are used to going with everyone else’s agendas, but I promise you can do it.
23. Neglecting Your Boundaries
When you set a boundary in your relationships it is important to keep that boundary. Even if the people in your life try to push those boundaries, stay firm. Your mental health will benefit from doing that.
24. Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations
I’m calling myself out again here with this one. Avoiding uncomfortable conversations can feel good for a short period of time. Over the years I’ve learned that one of two things can happen when you do this.
- You get worked up and anxious and when you finally have that conversation you realize it wasn’t that big of a deal.
- You get worked up and anxious and it all comes to a head into a big blow up that ends up not good for anyone.
Either way the point is, the earlier you have these tough conversations, the easier it will be. Choose the avoidance of hard discussions be a thing to let go of.
25. Fear Of Change As A Thing To Let Go Of
Change is a hard one. Even the best changes can make you feel anxious when you have a fear of change. In our thirties we are conquering this fear though! There are so many great changes that come with life, let’s embrace them with open arms.
26. Neglecting Your Hobbies And Passions
I know life gets busy, but life should also be fulfilling. When you aren’t making time to do the things you enjoy, are you really living your best life? I’m going to go with no. So even if you need to schedule in the time, make sure you make time for your hobbies and passions.
27. Toxic Relationships
Just like strained friendships, toxic relationships should have no room in your life. These relationships only make you feel bad and are going to end in disaster if you keep it going. Cut the toxicity out of your life now so that you can truly live your best life in your thirties.
28. Overcommitting
Overcommitting is very easy to do, especially if you are involved in many different functions. Whether it’s at work, your social life, or something else, be mindful about all that is on your plate.
Then realize it’s okay to say no. If you don’t have the time to devote your best to something, why do it. Also, remember that you need breaks too so let overcommitting be one of those things to let go of.
29. Fear Of Aging
I was guilty of this for the longest time in my late twenties. If you still have that fear, it’s time to let it go. Unfortunately you are not getting that time back, and you can’t freeze time. All we can do is make the most of the time that we have right here.
30. Not Going After Your Dreams
You are never too old to go after what you want. That’s why I believe your thirties is the perfect time to pursue your dreams if you haven’t already. Don’t worry about what age someone else is or when they got started. Stay in your lane, focus on what you need to do, and go after your dreams.
31. Being Too Hard On Yourself
No more being too critical of ourselves. In our thirties we are giving ourselves grace to embrace the mess ups, celebrate the wins, and show up for all the in-betweens.
32. Settling
We’ve reached the end of our list. The last thing we are letting go of in our thirties is settling. No longer are we accepting good enough, when we really want the best.
Don’t settle in your relationships, your career, or any other aspect of your life. You deserve the best that life has to offer and when you add settling in life as a thing to let go of you open yourself to so many opportunities.
Final Thoughts On Things To Let Go Of In Your 30s
It’s time to make some changes to your life if you aren’t living the way you want. Start with this list and see how those changes work for you. Let me know what you’ll be letting go of first in the comments.
About the Author
