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20 Books About Being Single In Your 30s

Being single in your thirties may not be how you pictured your life going, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Once you throw out the societal pressure of what your life “should” look like, you might start seeing the benefits of being a single woman.

It’s all about the mindset you have around the single life. If you are struggling with the fact that you are not in a long-term relationship, this post is for you.

Here is a list of books about being single in your 30s that may help shift your perspective. 

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20 Books About Being Single In Your 30s

Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First. by John Kim

In this book, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim, explores how to work on yourself without being in a relationship. After his own painful divorce, he embraced being on his own by rebuilding his relationship with himself. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. By sharing his story and owning his truth Kim inspires readers to do the same. 

Never Good Enough: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life by Monica Ramirez Basco

Dr. Basco teaches you why you feel compelled to get things “just right” and how to make the most of your perfectionism in Never Good Enough.

This essential handbook, which is jam-packed with helpful information and encouragement, as well as strategies for self-discovery, is written by Dr. Basco and includes his own thirty-question self-test to help you recognize and manage the dark side of your perfectionism.

You will learn how to stop the struggle with yourself and others, how to evaluate your worth and performance in life, and how to replace the pursuit of perfection with peace of mind.

Spinster: Making A Life Of One’s Own by Kate Bolick

Kate Bolick is a  journalist and cultural critic who set out to figure out why she, and the other single women in the world, remain single. She combines her own story with the stories of five other women that have impacted her and inspired her to live a life that is on her terms. Spinster is a book that focuses on women that push the societal norms to live their life the way they want. If you want a book to challenge you to live more authentically, regardless of society’s timelines and opinions, this New York Times Bestseller is for you.

“I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage by Susan Squire

If you’ve ever asked yourself “why do people get married?” You’ll appreciate this book. Susan Squire has been researching to find the answer to this question for 13 years!! She has studied both the history of marriage and what it means today. What types of life experience leads people to get married, what do the politics of the home once married, and more are answered in this insightful great read. 

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

This book is all about discovering how awesome you are, just as you are. Sometimes we associate our relationship status as a reflection of who we are. The truth is, it doesn’t matter if you are single, dating, engaged, married, or divorced, you are amazing just as you are.

Sincero shows us why and how our brain reverts to a low self-image, as well as how we can train our brain to see the truth. As she tells her story and own experiences of finding self-love, you’ll find that you are learning to love yourself as well.

Singled Out by Bella DePaulo

Author Bella DePaulo did a lot of research, decades-worth, about singlehood and discovered how distorted the media and society’s view of single people are.

Singlehood isn’t something that you have to dread, it can actually be a good thing, and even enjoyable. In Singled Out you’ll read about 10 myths about singlehood and discover just how different both the single life and married life actually are.

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Traister uses her journalistic skills to interview over 100 academics and social scientists and prominent single women. She wanted to learn more about the American single woman, both present day and in the past. She covers topics like class, race, and sexual orientation. If you want to read about her findings, add this book to your reading list.

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

This book was originally published in 1963 and now has a published 50th anniversary edition. In this edition you’ll find a new introduction by Gail Collins, a columnist for the New York Times, as well as an afterword by best-selling author Anna Quindlen.

Friedan inspires readers to live their life the way they want to. No longer is a woman’s only option to get married and stay at home. She introduces women to a new way of thinking, one that leads women to follow their ambitions.

Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise And Surprising Appeal Of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg

This book is all about living alone, and why people choose to do so. The author, who is also a sociologist, believes that  this new lifestyle choice is evidence of the biggest demographic shift since the Baby Boom.

In Going Solo Klineberg discovers how the rise in solo living has affected other areas of life, like culture and business. He also shows that having excess alone time doesn’t mean people’s mental health is declining. He actually saw that those that live by themselves are more likely to go out on the town, attend classes, etc.

This is a good book to read if you are contemplating living on your own, or already living solo.

The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass by Mandy Hale

Mandy Hale encourages readers that there is more to life than waiting around for the right person in her book The Single Woman. She started out blogging and has now become a New York Times bestselling-author and a speaker.In this book you’ll see how being single is a good thing.

You’ll find topics like friendships and purpose as you read through The Single Woman. As you finish this book you’ll walk away from it being the empowered, confident, single girl, guy, or nonbinary that you are.

How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate by Jennifer Taitz

If you’re always confused about what dating advice to follow, or exhausted by the dating life in general, you’ll want to read this book. Author Jennifer Taitz, who is also a clinical psychologist, is here to clear the confusion and myths about finding love.

The interesting thing about this book is that, while Taitz is giving sound dating advice, she’s also showing you how to live your best life no matter your relationship status.

How to Be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly by David Richo

Before author David Richo gives us tips and tools about how to let the love from others into our heart, he’ll show you  the most important long-term relationship you should have. That is the relationship you have with yourself.

He draws from Buddhism, psychology, and more to help you learn how to love yourself and love others. You’ll find exercises/practices that will help you navigate the challenges that can come up in your love life. You’ll also find exercises that will help you increase the love you have in your life. 

Single and Forced to Mingle: A Guide for (Nearly) Any Socially Awkward Situation by Melissa Croce

This book is for single ladies navigating awkward conversations and situations in social circles. If you need a little bit of a laugh, but also need help knowing what to say to that nagging family member asking when you’ll get married, this book will be your best friend.

You’ll get some great advice from author Melissa Croce, as well as some fun activities when you purchase Single and Forced to Mingle.

How To Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t by Lane Moore

Lane Moore, who also is the host of the show Tinder Live with Lane Moore, tells her story of how she navigates through big moments of her life, like moving to New York City, by herself. By reading this story you’ll feel less alone in what you are going through as a single thirty something. This is one of the best books to read if you are feeling lonely in the sea of serious relationships.

My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness by Nagata Kabi

Part memoir, part graphic novel, this manga book has won many awards and has helped a lot of people feel seen and heard in the struggles they have gone through. This book is a moving and heartfelt look at someone trying to find their way through exploring their sexuality, while touching on mental illness and growing up in the 21st century. It’s a great book for anyone on a self-discovery journey.

The Twenty-Ninth Year by Hala Alyan

This book is a collection of poems from author Hala Alyan as she documents her 29th year. This collection of poems depicts the real and raw emotions of what going through migration and change looks like both on the outside and the inside.

Inside the Twenty-Ninth year you’ll find poems that reflect the real life struggles that Hala Alyan had to face such as alcoholism, heartbreak, migration. You’ll also find poems of hope, love, and strength. 

It Ended Badly: 13 Of The Worst Breakups In History By Jennifer Wright

If you thought that you handled a breakup badly, read this book and you’ll quickly realize it could have been a lot worse. Author, and political editor-at-large, Jennifer Wright has researched what the worst breakups and history were, and these 13 that are featured are truly the worst of the worst. Some of the breakups discussed here are Oscar Wilde and his lover, Caroline Lamb and Lord Byron, and many more. This book is great for anyone who is newly single and maybe having a hard time. This book is sure to both distract you and give you a little perspective.

Wild: From Lost To Found On The Pacific Crest Trail By Cheryl Strayed

In this book author Cheryl Strayed revisits her journey of walking the Pacific Crest Trail alone. A journey born out of heartbreak and grief led to Strayed healing herself. You’ll see both the mental and physical challenges she endured in her trek by herself. She persevered through a lot, but in the end she found purpose and happiness. 

Year Of Yes: How To Dance It Out, Stand In The Sun And Be Your Own Person By Shonda Rhimes

This book is a great glimpse into the life of the woman behind hit shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder. If you find yourself fearful of the unknown – like dating in your thirties, you are sure to be inspired by this book.In her book Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes reflects on a simple task her sister challenged her to do. Except that task was anything but simple. Her sister challenged her to say yes to unexpected invitations for a year.

Little did Rhimes know, this challenge would create a transformative year for her. You’ll be inspired to step out of your comfort zone and start saying yes to things more often.

 Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

This book is also a memoir. In it, author Dolly Alderton discusses topics like falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, bad dates, good friends, and more. At its core, this book is about self-worth. It’s about realizing you are enough just as you are, strong relationship or not. 

In Summary: 20 Books About Being Single In Your 30s

I hope these books give you more perspective on the single life in your thirties. While not all of them are directly related to the single life, the lessons you learn through these books can help you navigate being single in your thirties. Read these books with your single friends for even more support and great conversations. Now I have to know, which great book will you be reading first?

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