How My Relationship Is So Much Different In My 30s Than In My 20s

Embarking into your 30s comes with some wisdom lived and learned from your 20s. Our 20s revolve more so around ourselves and planning our lives.

Maybe you were in college, maybe you started working after high school, maybe you had a kid and got married. Or maybe you stayed mostly single for most of your 20s. Maybe you travelled and explored the world. In any case, you lived through the decade and learned so much from it.

In my early 20s I was enrolled in a community college and working almost full time. By my mid 20s I was in a serious relationship and had my daughter. In my late 20s, life was pretty chaotic and busy. I had gone in-between a few different jobs trying to establish my career in healthcare.

In my now early 30s, I am more successful and established in my healthcare career. I have pushed for my salary requirements and got them. I have been in my relationship for 10 years, which is a relationship milestone, and my daughter is now almost 8 years old. As you can see I have lived through a lot in my 20s and my growth has been exponential from my 20s to my 30s. My relationship has had so many ups and downs in the almost 11 years that we have been together, as it should.

Love is a journey that evolves as we grow, and our experiences in relationships transform significantly from our 20s to our 30s.

The dynamics, expectations, and priorities shift, molding the way we perceive and engage in romantic relationships. Let’s explore the differences with these two phases of life.

5 Ways My Relationship Is Better In My 30s Than It Was In My 20s

Self-Discovery vs Self-Assurance

In your 20s, it’s all about self-discovery, and you may or may not notice that you are in this phase of life.

In our 20s, you are figuring out what you want in your life and what you might expect from a partner in a relationship.

In this phase of life, your relationships may be more experimental and filled with the excitement and thrill of new experiences.

While, in contrast, by the time you are in your 30s, you likely have a better understanding of who you are.

And this factors into your relationships in your 30s as well. You are more self-assured and that can lead to more stable and serious commitments in your relationships.

The Evolution Of Appreciating Quality Time

In our 20s we had been together for a couple years and then had our daughter; life was crazy. We were learning to juggle our careers, a new born and our new routines in life, all while trying to figure out how to juggle our relationship.

It’s true what they say how when you have kids, your relationship can so easily be on the back burner if you are not actively working on your relationship.

Over the years, we have learned to appreciate what quality time means to us. It was so hard to understand this early on in our relationship. We appreciate quality time so much more now because our relationship has grown to have much more respect and more understanding for each other.

Transition From Independence To Interdependence

Our 20s are absolutely a time for independence. Relationships in your 20s allow for this because often times, partners maintain separate lives and even separate interests.

In your 30s, there’s a shift towards interdependence where you have learned the values of being a team or a union. You have both mutually learned how to coexist with each of your individual personalities, shared responsibilities, and mutual respect and support for one another.

This all translates to a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner as you embark on your 30s together.

Goals, Commitment, And For Better Or For Worse

When you embark into your 30s, this new phase in your relationship takes far more precedence than it did in your 20s. Your goals become more aligned with their goals.

Your commitment to each other becomes even more profound. This happens because your deeper connection has reached a new chapter in your life. If you got married, it’s for better or for worse, as said in all vows.

That means that when you have goals, they, in a sense, become your partners goals because the idea is to want your partner to achieve their goals and to be part of it. Your commitment goes beyond respect and loyalty. It means that you are doing this together for the rest of your lives.

So, with every decision you make, and every choice you make, it’s now your partner and your family who you are keeping in mind.

Decisions are no long made with the sole thought of just you. It’s a beautiful thing to have come to this point in our relationship because our wants, our goals and our decisions in life coincide so much more now.

Finally Understanding Your Relationship Journey

The journey of love from your 20s to your 30s is transformative. It’s a period of self-discovery, growth, and evolving priorities.

Relationships in your 20s are often passionate and exploratory, while those in your 30s tend to be more stable, grounded, and focused on long-term commitment. Embracing these differences and understanding the unique dynamics of each phase can lead to more fulfilling and meaningful relationships, regardless of the stage of life you find yourself in.

Remember, every phase has its beauty, its challenges, and its lessons, shaping you into a wiser and more loving individual.

Final Thoughts on My Relationship in My 30s

I have learned so many lessons during this phase of life. It’s not only taught me to be more patient, but to have more compassion and more respect for my partner.

Our career and life goals align with each other, without effort. Our love has grown and continues to. And there is not a day that goes by where we don’t learn something from each other because that what life and relationships are about. You never stop learning. I can’t wait to see what in store for relationships when we reach the next decade together.